Friday, December 19, 2008


So I am entering my first real poster contest (outside of high school) in the next month, and I am feeling uncharacteristically nervous. Big money is at steak (stake?) and damnit I want to win really bad, which is always a terrible thing because that means I really care. Usually I refrain from caring because I am often disappointed, but now I think I might have a chance. I really should get used to this feeling as it is probably going to follow me throughout my life, and my profession. I am never a fan of competition (unless I know I am going to win ahahahaha). Anyways, the deadline is pretty far off (Feb) so I am just in the brainstorming stages. Its going to be hard because I have never actually been to the event and I'm sure the other people submitting have, but I don't see that as being too big of a problem.

I'm wishing myself luck because I'm pretty positive no one reads this hahaha which I kind of like, but is the opposite of what the point should be.

Hopefully I will be productive over break. I'm excited about the projects I'm doing :)

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

The End

Optimism ended today.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Beginning of the Quarter

So I always get very optimistic and motivated at the beginning of the quarter/semester. Right now I am excited to get things going... I only have 3 more quarters here and I feel like it is going to go by so fast. I am ready to work hard and produce some good work. I have some ideas that I hope I can use in my classes. This was the complete opposite of what I was feeling 4 days ago... and I wonder how long it is going to last this time? I hope at least until break.

My main worry now is job hunting. (and making sure I graduate in the fall)
I think this should be addressed in Sophomore year, at the very start of this program, so that we can start thinking about things like this and begin looking and exploring. Internships/work, I have no idea about how to go about getting these, and I need to get on top of this.

On the other hand, whats the point?

Friday, November 28, 2008

Shitty Paint

I started this today. It apparently reflects how I have been feeling.
(my moods are not fantastic)

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Time Warp

I was trying to find a new sketchbook in my room and I came across an early self portrait circa 1996. Apparently I was very boyish. Also included in that notebook, a report on green sea turtles.

Saturday, November 15, 2008


I tried to paint today, and couldn't. I was sad.
Will draw instead.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

What I want to know...

So I am sitting at the info desk right now, bored, stumbling around the internet and I came across this website which I am really into.... and I was reading some of the interviews that they have with illustrators who are apparently working in the market today...

and personally, I think the questions they are asking are really lame, I for one do not give a flying crap about what these people have on their ipod, what their favorite place to vacation is...

I want to know how they got there, how they got the giant studio and the freedom to do whatever they want, while still making enough money to live in a cute apartment in NYC. That to me seems like the important question. Why aren't they asking it? Can someone explain this to me? How do I make enough money to live comfortably while not selling my little fragile soul for a buck and doing really lame boring work? Damnit. Why is it that I have so many questions that no one in their right mind can answer them? Why do I suck?
I dig this......Henry Gunderson. and this....

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


So I put up an ad on craigslist and I just got the first response. He wants me to do a portrait of his mother-in-law and her boyfriend for Christmas.
This is the website I sent him to show him some of my portrait work... it could be better...

AND I finished uploading all my work in my online portfolio...kind of anticlimactic..

Thursday, November 6, 2008


(bad quality)

I miss RISD a lot for some reason today. I was looking at pictures from the past 2 years.

I was sitting outside my class yesterday waiting for it to start, and the other kids were talking to me about all the performance art they were shown in their freshman year, and it was really sad hearing them talk about it. One kid said that he wished that art was more about talent and less about people walking in circles in a grassy spot (as an example). That pretty much sums up the type of art that is done here in the illustration department. Devoid of thought. Or at least what I have experienced. Who cares if something is technically good? How is that interesting? And yeah, I think some of that really out there stuff is bullshit, but it has merit and is worth exploring. I sometimes cant stand it here. Mainly the closed mindedness and conservativeness. I'm kind of freaking out.

I miss being around people doing art all the time, and being ridiculous and all over the place and uninhibited, and doing homework with people, and talking about things with people, and not driving out to the middle of hell everyday by myself just to come right back home. Leave it to RIT to for the first time in my life make me feel self-conscious about who I am.

I guess its kind of good because I am so creatively starved that I have actually started drawing a lot again. Uh. Luckily I only have until next fall in this depressing school because I can't take anymore.

Boo hoo me.

Sperm Whale

I really enjoy drawing porn. Maybe I will illustrate for Hustler/Playboy??? One can dream.

I think I am also going to start a new sketchbook. I kind of want to be a tattoo artist, so this sketchbook will be more oriented towards that kind of art. Who knows where it will go.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Light Bulb

I have to write this down here so that I actually remember to do this...

I was thinking to day about all the free time I am going to have over break and I have come up with a plan to not be a lazy ass and actually do something productive:

1. So I was talking to my mom today, more like she was talking at me, but she was asking if I remembered when she took us out when we were kids to go look at lightening storms, or to go look at deer. For some reason I don't remember this, and that got me thinking about what I did remember of my childhood. I was sad to discover that I don't remember much. What comes to mind is me playing by myself, barbies/playmobile/dolls/cars. I used to play on my bed and pretend it was a ship and I would sail places. I wasn't close to my siblings, and it wasn't like I didn't have friends, but for some reason I don't remember playing with anyone. What I really want to do is to do some illustrations based on what I don't remember (maybe what I do remember) and create a totally different idea of my younger days then I currently have now.

2. I need to photograph my work, FO SHO. And organize.

3. I also desperately need to work on digital because I suck hard core. Even though I will be taking 2 digital classes next quarter, I am intimidated.

4. I need to lighten up. In all respects.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008


Egon Schiele

Loose line, naked people, my favorite. (especially the hand)


I've never had a blog before. Welcome to the 21st century I guess.