Crafts

Crafts are now my life. I just made this circle scarf. Its VERY thick and wraps around my neck twice. I can pull it all around my head so all that is peeking out are my eyes, which is what I look for in a scarf to combat the Rochester weather. I'm really happy with it :) Hence me putting it on the internet, even if its just so one other person can see.

Cleaning.

Lately I have felt the urge to purge my room of all things that I do not need anymore in a desperate attempt to ease my anxiety about...everything.

Tonight, unable to sleep, I tackled a very interesting corner of my room. It is situated in a corner between a disorderly bin of my past art work and a refrigerator. This corner contained 3 boxes of memorabilia from my childhood. The makings of a scrap book... before the book. This was YEARS of untouched, accumulated junk that has been sitting in that corner since we moved to this house in 2006. Tonight I took upon the task of organizing it:

Here are some of the things that I found:

1. Concert tickets: from the Backstreet Boys to Nine Inch Nails (to name a select few)
2. Old riding ribbons from my first and only horse show. (I was good)
3. Diaries, which I wont go into detail about because they are like most young girl thoughts: ridiculously innocent and vapid.
4. Old cologne from my Dad. Not the greatest thing to remember. I also found some sad notes from him and my mom.
5. A cool Cheerios container (which I will now be using to carry my Cheerios)
6. Newspaper clippings from 9/11 (bizarre to look at now) I think I had some idea of doing a big collage piece with all the cut out articles, but very much like myself 8 years later, I never finished the project.
7. A portrait I drew of Blink 182 with the word "fuck" drawn in fire behind them.
8. An entire box full of magazines. Don't ask me why I thought they were worth saving.
9. Pocahontas trading cards.

Overall, I would say that looking back all those years was not so much fun as it was incredibly depressing. So much has changed that I never would have thought I would end up where I am today. Never the less, I will be scrap booking all that shit very soon, along with a whole crap load of photos that I still have to go through. (And when I say scrap booking, I really mean filing away all that paper into some folder. There will be no cut out graduation hats or stars anywhere.)

More recent

Something I started tonight. I really really like where it is going. I know you can't see much by the photo but I am excited. (Comments/suggestions are always welcome)

Tonight painting really felt good. Smelling all that toxic shit is nice sometimes. Makes me think I am back to sophomore year in the painting studios of RISD (nostalgic moment, fuck). I am going to build up the layers a lot in places like I started doing at the end of my independent study with Chad last quarter. I liked placing one bit of color next to another and not really blending everything, so that the mark of the paint (I think) is more interesting and more expressive.

Hopefully I'll have some more progress photos as this goes on.

I really want to start taking some workshops outside of RIT....intaglio, screen printing, loom weaving...things like that, I am trying to not need to go for a masters degree because I definitely do not have the money and being in more debt doesn't sound fun. Hopefully workshops will satisfy me. I need to do some research. I might have to go outside of Rochester....again suggestions welcome haha (suggestions for my life as well because its almost time to leave the nest and I still have no idea what I am going to do.)

Recent

This is what I have been up to. Can you tell what it is? Ha, probably not. Still more to add. I'm really enjoying the process of making these physical quilted things. Sewing is really good for calming me down, something that painting hasn't been doing for a while, and even now doing this it is often frustrating, but I guess it works itself out. I'm just generally frustrated I guess.

More to come?

What?

I got into the Cornhill Arts Festival on a student application.
Woah. What the fuck? Basically I get to be in the festival for a cheep price (like 1/3 of the price), and get to sell/promote my stuff.

How did this happen?

Escape

This was my "escape"...crosswords with Bernie. I ended up putting color washes over the pen.

Today's Happiness

So at this moment I am experiencing a surge of inspiration. Stemming from the acquisition of new folk music starting with Devendra Banhart and branching off to a number of new folk groups that I am loving.

Its not just the music, but the whole artistic scene that is attracting me.

I think I am just going to do my own thing for a while and not care what people here think. I am usually a very confident person, but not when it comes to my work. Now I just am not going to care. I think that illustration really isn't for me. I just want to do my own work, maybe show in galleries if I like my stuff enough, maybe work in a coffee place, or a book store...who knows. Illustration really isn't fun for me, and I don't know why I went into it in the first place. Bad decisions based on insecurity I guess. I know that if I told that to anyone here, they would think I was crazy and probably wouldn't waist their time on me. Which is sad, but I think true.

Oh well, I'm almost out of here. Then its off to somewhere better, hopefully. Right now I'm really feelin' going to San Francisco, or somewhere in warm California. I want to set up a really creative place with friends/ family and just live a really chill life. That's all I want really. Money isn't a priority, just a necessity, and I'm not going to let that stop me from doing what I want. You only live once right? Come hang out with me :)

Quilt

Continued...

Discouragement has increased again today when the question of why I am still in school reared it ugly head again....

Digital Art.....Lame

I will never be a digital artist.

This quarter being all digital is killing me. Photoshop is going alright, but I am still not seeing why I should be painting on the computer when I could do it in the real world..... and Illustrator is a complete mess. In fact, I'm supposed to be working right now on a digital piece but must take a break before I throw my computer into the wall.

The fact that I cannot crack the Illustrator barrier is eating me away. I am good (or at least able to understand) almost anything I pick up, but for all the time I invest in this program I cannot get it to do what I want. This makes me extremely mad. I almost want someone to sit with me and watch over my shoulder so that I can have help every time I reach a snag (which is every five minutes). I am extremely discouraged, and I am now actually switching back to Photoshop just so that I can get this assignment to a finished level.

I am longing for next quarter where I will be taking all traditional illustration classes. I honestly gave digital all I have. At least I know what I do and do not like. Although now I am worrying about getting a job in a world where technology dominates everything..... it is a burden and a blessing I guess.

LOVE THIS

http://www.fecalface.com/SF/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1380&Itemid=63